Poll Of The Week

Michael Phelps ‘hits it like a champ’

This week Michael Phelps put new meaning into the phrase, “Man, you hit that like a champ!”. British tabloids released a photo of Phelps hitting a bong at a house party while visiting the University of South Carolina. This isn’t the first time that the fourteen time gold medal winner has slipped up (you may recall his DUI in Maryland four years ago). Let’s be honest, this doesn’t exactly make him Ricky Williams. Phelps may be chronically (no pun intended) guilty of being a young man. A young man learning some hard lessons about the baggage that accompanies celebrity.

When asked about the incident, Phelps responded, “I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me.” Does this express remorse for being caught? Certainly. Remorse for his actions? Not so fast. The swimmer has a slight reputation for enjoying his downtime.  Is this a one hundred million dollar offense? For the college age Olympian, hardly.  It is quite common for top flight athletes after long periods of training to cut loose during their off season.

The media’s  ‘Oh my God, anyone but him!’ reaction seems quite contradictory in an era where athletes are carrying guns into clubs and lying to grand juries. Allow me to quote the wordsmith Sir Charles Barkley in saying that, Athletes are not role models.” Yes, he is an Olympian. He is also twenty-three years old. Phelps may be the golden boy, but if Kobe Bryant can get tied up in a sexual assault scandal (outside of his marriage I might add), and can still sell me Nike’s- perhaps we are overreacting.  I quote New York Post writer Andrea Peyser stating, “A man who makes potentially a hundred million in endorsement deals as a pitchman for products that pay big bucks for wholesome images- the dude sells Kellogg”s cereal for God’s sake!- should refrain from public intoxication and the endorsement of illicit drugs. “

Maybe she’s not completely off base, but when did a bowl of Wheaties ever taste better than after a couple of bong hits?

What I Know:

My Weekly Post about what I know, what I’ve learned and what you will soon know after the week that was 1/25 – 1/31:

I Know:

- That the Columbus Crew schedule is out and that means it’s just that much closer to the start of the season. The 21st of March to be exact.

- That although i believed Andy Roddick was playing as good as he ever has, that he won’t ever be a top tier tennis star. Unfortunately, for now, those days are over and that ship has sailed for the Americans.

- That it’s pretty miserable watching yourself get a red light ticket…twice within a month.

- That Joseph Arthur’s new album isn’t as drug addled and crazy as I thought and definitely worth checking out.

-That Beirut’s EP isn’t too shabby and even though I realize the “Realpeople” electronica bit is pre-Beirut, I probably could have gone without ever hearing it or knowing it existed and been perfectly fine.

-That even though it is slightly old news about Mike Tyson, he really did reaffirm everyone that he lives in a separate universe from our own when he said “I never used to understand why people perceived me as such a monster, and then I saw the movie and it all made sense.” You gotta love Mike, just listening to him talk is a joy, and the insight he provides on himself is unparalleled.

- That zombies were in Austin Texas…I think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVK33H85GGI

- That I’m posting this blog later than i should be.

- That Michael Phelps takes huge bong rips.

- That Bowie month, as dubbed by my friend and I, ended on a strong note with the ceremonious frying of spaghetti balls.

- That I’m sick and into week two of my illness.

- That fried spaghetti balls was an excellent idea!

- That watching the Cavs beat the Pistons in the palace will never get old especially after here “DETROIT BASKETBALL” for 2+ hours.

- The Dayton Flyers are off to their best start in a long time and are definitely tourney bound.

- That the UNC buzzer beater against Florida State was phenomenal.

- That another FSU player is in trouble with the law and no one should be surprised.

Cech Bounced!

Manchester United really are invincible. THE Edwin Van Der Sar has set the record for most consecutive minutes without conceding a goal. The new mark stands currently at 1,122 minutes (approximately 18.7 hours or the approximate time in which it would take you to watch Michael Phelps’s world record 200M butterfly 600 times, or Usain Bolt’s world record 100M dash 6,947 times, or, according to Google Maps, the time it would take to drive nonstop from Columbus, Ohio to the Denver Airport). For the majority of the record, the United defense has been in absolute shambles with, at one point, the whole of the starting 4 defenders out and many other injuries to the club that saw them at one point with more injuries than anyone in the league, most of which were injuries to defenders! In 2004, due to the astonishing feat, I literally shat myself when Peter Cech set the previous mark, but this, this is absolutely inconceivable! The numbers in all show that United have not allowed a goal in 12 Premier League matches. They have not been scored on since the 8th of November. During this same time period they have climbed to number one in the English Premier League, 5 points clear of Liverpool and Chelsea, and currently 10 clear of Arsenal (who has fallen out of the top four to newcomers Aston Villa). While United have been literally dominating the whole league, Liverpool have tied 7 of their last 10 games, conceding 7 goals, Arsenal have tied 5 of their last 8 while conceding 6 goals, and Chelsea have tied 4 and lost 2 of their last 10 while conceding 9 goals.

Poll Of The Week:

In an attempt to settle an ancient dispute, once mulled over by Mythological gods, Einstein, Confucius, Plato and many a genius known the world over since its origination in the Swiss Alps millions of years ago, I pose to you the question of questions:

What I Know

My Weekly Post about what I know, what I’ve learned and what you will soon know after the week that was 1/18 – 1/24:

I Know:

- That Shaq looks much larger in real life even from the upper level of MSG.

- That Jarrett Johnson of Anderson University (SC) will not hesitate to put his foot in your mouth when he dunks the ball. This is worth a watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agenl3kuWsI

- That guns and New York Giants wide receivers don’t mix.

- That Virginia Tech University should require conflict resolution classes that focus on nonviolent solutions.

- That sports will never escape politics hence Bosnia Serbia relations causing a near riot outside the Australian open.

- The “Findings” section at the back of Harper’s Magazine is always a great read.

- That Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez shouldn’t complain about Manchester United’s fixtures because in the month of January, Man U play 8 games over a 24 day span, Liverpool play 5 games over a span of 26 days and arsenal play 6 games over a 29 day span in the month of January. In fact, to take this argument a step further, Manchester United have played in more competitive matches than any of the major clubs in all of Europe*. Lastly I would like to add that United also have more injuries than any club in the EPL. (http://www.physioroom.com/news/english_premier_league/epl_injury_table.php). A friend (who supports Liverpool, not Man U) summed it up pretty well when I asked him why he thinks they’re complaining by saying “probably because Wenger is multiple world class players short a of a contender and Benitez can’t hold a lead to save his life”

*Man U has played 36 matches and has won or is still alive in all competitions, arsenal 35 matches (out of the Carling Cup), Liverpool 34 matches (out of Carling Cup), Barcelona at 35, Real Madrid 29, Inter Milan at 29 (their season started a week later than the EPL), Celtic at 34, and Bayern Munich at 25.

- That the official count of Liverpool players wearing the captains armband and facing 5 years in prison for assault is 1 and for Manchester United the count is 0. Advantage United!

- The Inauguration was awesome in HD.

- That Sacha Kljestan was out to impress Celtic after that performance against Sweden and he definitely impressed.

- That Lebron James will hit a buzzer beater in your face.

- The Steelers might be favored to win the super bowl.

What I Know

My Weekly Post about what I know, what I’ve learned and what you will soon know after the week that was 1/11 – 1/17:

I know:

- That Manchester United is back at the top of the table after a stretch of wins, most notably a 3-0 thrashing of Chelsea.

- M Ward is a genius and has done justice on his reworking of my favorite Buddy Holly song “Rave On”. He builds on his success of Post War with an incredible album that I would consider an evolution from where he was at with Post War.

- As a result of a conversation/argument with a friend that the only sport that play by play radio does justice for is baseball and definitely NOT the fast paced world of college basketball. Adding to that point I would like to say that I do not really care for baseball.

- That Ryan Adams claims that he has quit music, and nobody believes it.

- That Despite an 0-2 start to their ACC play, I am not worried about my Tar Heels.

- That most of the nation’s “experts” are picking the steelers vs. eagles for the super bowl. However in my humble, unbiased opinion I believe the eagles will falter as mcnabb will puke up yet another shot at the super bowl and westbrook’s injury will leave mcnabb with no one to bail him out in the form of 70+ yard screen pass and Kurt Warner, the ageless wonder, will prevail with the help of Larry Fitzgerald aka Cris Carter Jr. The steelers will most definitely lose to the Ravens. There is in fact no doubt in my mind. I think the steelers have already used up all there luck against the Ravens with Santonio’s touchdown call*. I am also announcing my consideration for suicide if the eagles AND steelers do indeed somehow someway manage to advance to the super bowl as I will then have no one to root for in what would be dubbed by me the worst Super Bowl in the history of the NFL. I guess I can always hope for a tie.

*explanation:
The rules on this are slightly unclear in my opinion:
(b) while inbounds any player catches or recovers a loose ball (3-2-3) on or behind the opponents’ goal line.
There should never be a touchdown called if the ball fails to travel the complete 100th yard of the field and break the plane of the goal line. I also feel that there should never a call overturned without CONCLUSIVE (as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary as “putting an end to debate or question esp. by reason of inability to be refuted”) evidence. Shame on you NFL referees for being idiots and shame on you guy/committee that makes these rules and fails to clarify that the ball needs to travel that 100th yard. Therefore only 3 sides of the end zone would qualify a catch as a touchdown when two feet are inbounds. Otherwise you can technically have a tall wide receiver score a touchdown on the 2 or 3 yard line as long as his feet are inbounds and we can all agree that such a call would be completely unfair.

- I am happy to report that 0 SEC teams are currently in the ESPN/USA today top 25 of college basketball for this week as Tennessee fell out and will continue to fall after Kentucky beat them.

-That the guy I saw wearing female UGGs in the airport is apparently unaware of how stupid he looks.

- The countdown to the most exciting day of the year thus far stands at 25 days. February 11th, aka rivalry Wednesday, will include three of my favorite sports rivalries (I feel a list coming on). On that day the mighty Red White and Blue take on our south of the border rivals in Columbus, Ohio in a classic match of footie. North Carolina will play at the always tough Cameron Indoor Stadium and last but certainly not least THE Dayton Flyers will host the Xavier Musketeers at UD Arena.

See you all next week when i will know about life after Bush.

Oh Nine At A Glance

This could be a big year. We’re only a few weeks in and we’ve already been granted a few sneak peaks of some impressive material from Andrew Bird and M Ward via NPR. Here is a preview of this year’s upcoming releases:

Antony and The Johnsons – The Crying Light

Andrew Bird – Noble Beast

Bon Iver – Blood Bank EP

Franz Ferdinand – Tonight: Franz Ferdinand

Loney Dear: Dear John

Lily Allen – It’s Not Me, It’s You

Dan Auerbach – Keep It Hid

Ben Lee – The Rebirth Of Venus

Morrissey – Years Of Refusal

M. Ward – Hold Time

The Decemberists – Hazards Of Love

Ambulance LTD – TBA

Built To Spill – TBA

Pete Doherty – TBA

Doves – TBA

MF Doom and Ghostface Killah – Swift and Changeable

New Pornographers – TBA

OK GO – TBA

Wilco – TBA

Amy Winhouse – TBA

Patrick Wolf – TBA

The 1900s – Medium High

Of Montreal – An Eluardian Instance Aka The Jon Brion EP

Ol Dirty Bastard – A Son Unique

Ben Kweller – Changing Horses

Heartless Bastards – The Mountain

Beirut/Realpeople – March Of The Zapotec/Holland EP

Camera Obscura – TBA

Throw Me The Statue – Purpleface EP

The Black Lips – 200 Million Thousand

The Thermals – Now We Can See

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy – Beware!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – TBA

Peter Bjorn And John – Living Thing

Kings Of Convenience  – Quiet Is The New Loud
 

 
Releases I’m Interested In, But Not Excited About:
 
 

Von Bondies – Love, Hate, Then There’s You

Mos Def – The Ecstatic

The Appleseed Cast – Sagarmatha

Lady Sovereign – Jigsaw

Architecture In Helsinki – The Beep

Neko Case – Middle Cyclone

Handsome Furs – Face Control

Blur – TBA

The Concretes – TBA

D’Angelo – James River

Dr. Dre – Detox

Noel Gallagher – TBA

Jay-Z – The Blueprint 3

Muse – TBA

Rakim – The Seventh Seal

The Boy Least Likely To – Law Of The Playground

John Wesley Harding – Who Was Changed And Who Was Dead

Great Lakes Swimmers – TBA

Eulogies – Here Anonymous

Big Boi – Sir Lucious Leftfoot…Son Of Chico Dusty

Clipse – Till The Casket Drops

Jay Reatard – TBA

Sonic Youth – TBA

Boston Spaceships – The Planets Are Blasted

Final Fantasy – Heartland

Phoenix -  Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

2008 Accoring to My Eardrum

2008 is in the books which means it’s time for another list of albums that caught my ear over the course of the last year.

30. Kings of Leon – Only by Night

29. Ray LaMontagne – Gossip in the Grain

28. Frightened Rabbit – The Midnight Organ Fight

27. Cold War Kids – Loyalty to Loyalty

26. Belle and Sebastian – BBC Sessions

25. The Walkmen – You & Me

24. Wolf Parade – At Mount Zoomer

23. Blitzen Trapper – Furr

22. Okkervil River – The Stand Ins

21. Gnarls Barkley – The Odd Couple

20. Spiritualized – Songs in A&E

19. Lightspeed Champion – Falling off the Lavender Bridge

18. Born Ruffians – Red, Yellow & Blue

17. TV on the Radio – Dear Science

16. Why? – Alopecia

15. The Duke Spirit – Neptune

14. Magnetic Fields – Distortion

13. Throw Me the Statue – Moonbeams

12. Dr. Dog – Fate

11. MGMT – Oracular Spectacular

10. She and Him – Volume One

9. Delta Spirit – Ode to Sunshine

8. Titus Andronicus – The Airing of Grievances

7. The War on Drugs – Wagonwheel Blues

6. The Tallest Man on Earth – Shallow Grave

5. The Black Keys – Attack and Release

4. Conor Oberst – Conor Oberst

3. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend

2. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes

1. Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago

Don’t Travel Unless You’re at Home and Other DUI Blowjob Anecdotes:

I’ve got to get my two cents in about an event that should have been water under the bridge during what is clearly a slow season for the NBA. The amount of attention given to the Lebron James travel call is rather ridiculous. Are we really going to get worked up about a traveling call in the NBA? Hell, if it wasn’t for the refs failure to call traveling about 80% of the time we wouldn’t be watching the league, because it wouldn’t be exciting. Maybe we should be celebrating the fact that they got a call right for once. We should all know by now how this works. If you are the home team, traveling calls magically find a way to appear with less frequency especially when it is your star player taking the extra steps. (if you do not believe me, do yourself a favor and Youtube the words “traveling” and “NBA” and you will find entertaining videos littered with no-calls). It is a known fact by now that it is the NBA’s prerogative to lay off these superstars. Is it that slow of a season that we need reporters to flock to the Cavs practice (as reported by the Cleveland Plain Dealer) after a traveling call. This brings to mind an opportunity which I rarely pass up in life, that of my favorite AI-ism “we talking about practice man!” Oh, wait, I get it, they’re flocking to practice to hear Lebron defend himself because he doesn’t think it was a legitimate call. Well what the fuck were you expecting, the face of the league to fess up to a call that could have won his team the game if it were not for his errant steps? Shame on you reporters for being that pathetic and stooping to that low. Nay, for not being able to pull a better story out of your ass for a days work. That being said, hopefully Lebron learns from this experience and learns not to travel away from the friendly confines of The Q.

In light of a Scottsdale Arizona patrolman being granted the privilege and faceless 15 minutes of fame for handing my lord and savior Sir Charles Barkley a DUI, I would just like to announce that I am officially launching my Sir Charles Barkley fan club which will be known as “The Sir Charles Barkley Bandwagon Joiner’s”, Barkley’s BJ’s for short. The reason for this newly established group stems for my admiration for Mr. Barkley and my show of support for the greatest NBA analyst in his time of need. Applications can be sent to me via email and you too can be apart of this support group for a low fee of $20 which includes your official membership card as well as your Barkley’s BJ’s fan club tee as well as a small processing fee.