Don’t Travel Unless You’re at Home and Other DUI Blowjob Anecdotes:

I’ve got to get my two cents in about an event that should have been water under the bridge during what is clearly a slow season for the NBA. The amount of attention given to the Lebron James travel call is rather ridiculous. Are we really going to get worked up about a traveling call in the NBA? Hell, if it wasn’t for the refs failure to call traveling about 80% of the time we wouldn’t be watching the league, because it wouldn’t be exciting. Maybe we should be celebrating the fact that they got a call right for once. We should all know by now how this works. If you are the home team, traveling calls magically find a way to appear with less frequency especially when it is your star player taking the extra steps. (if you do not believe me, do yourself a favor and Youtube the words “traveling” and “NBA” and you will find entertaining videos littered with no-calls). It is a known fact by now that it is the NBA’s prerogative to lay off these superstars. Is it that slow of a season that we need reporters to flock to the Cavs practice (as reported by the Cleveland Plain Dealer) after a traveling call. This brings to mind an opportunity which I rarely pass up in life, that of my favorite AI-ism “we talking about practice man!” Oh, wait, I get it, they’re flocking to practice to hear Lebron defend himself because he doesn’t think it was a legitimate call. Well what the fuck were you expecting, the face of the league to fess up to a call that could have won his team the game if it were not for his errant steps? Shame on you reporters for being that pathetic and stooping to that low. Nay, for not being able to pull a better story out of your ass for a days work. That being said, hopefully Lebron learns from this experience and learns not to travel away from the friendly confines of The Q.

In light of a Scottsdale Arizona patrolman being granted the privilege and faceless 15 minutes of fame for handing my lord and savior Sir Charles Barkley a DUI, I would just like to announce that I am officially launching my Sir Charles Barkley fan club which will be known as “The Sir Charles Barkley Bandwagon Joiner’s”, Barkley’s BJ’s for short. The reason for this newly established group stems for my admiration for Mr. Barkley and my show of support for the greatest NBA analyst in his time of need. Applications can be sent to me via email and you too can be apart of this support group for a low fee of $20 which includes your official membership card as well as your Barkley’s BJ’s fan club tee as well as a small processing fee.